“You’re scared that you’re going to become just like this, aren’t you, Doctor?” The voice barely resembled Dean, all the warmth of it gone, only roughness and anger left. “That your dark side is going to win and that your eyes are going to be black when you catch your reflection on accident?”
“I am not afraid,” the Doctor replied, trying to remain calm. “Not as afraid as you are, Dean. This is just a dream. This isn’t you.”
But Dean just laughed at the Doctor’s words. “It may just be a dream right now, but it will become reality sooner or later. I will go to hell and this, this is what I’m going to become and you can’t stop it.”
“Oh, I will.” The Doctor walked towards him, grabbing his jacket, pulling him closer. “I will keep you away from hell, even if I die trying. You watch me. You watch us run.”
He pulled him back out instantly when he realized how much the Doctor longed for this to be his reality, even though deep down he knew it wasn’t.
The Doctor only shook his head. Sam understood that some events need to be fixed in time. Dean didn’t and never truly did until Castiel sent him back and he tried to prevent his mother’s death, but it still happened, not matter how hard he tried.
“What happened to you?” The Doctor’s question hovered between them, Dean just staring at the time lord and his two companions. “Dean. Please. What happened?”
“You didn’t come in time,” he answered, his voice rough from too many nights without sleep and too many nightmares during those few hours he actually was able to close his eyes.
“But I’m here now. I can still fix this. Where is Sam?” When Dean didn’t reply, the Doctor turned around, eyes searching and finally finding Castiel standing among the small group that had gathered around them. “Where is he?”
Castiel just smiled at him, too far gone into his own personal oblivion to register anything that was happening around him.
“Sam is gone, Doctor,” Dean said, rejection in his voice. “And you should leave, too. We don’t need you here. You wanted to save us and lost your chance, just like you lost my trust. I am going to save myself now.”
He turned around, walking back to his car. “Get back into your blue box and explore the universe, but don’t come back here or I swear, I will kill you. You gave me a promise and you broke it. You failed to save me, you failed to save Cas. You failed to save my brother. I’d rather die than accept your help.”
It reminded him too much of Donna and the way he had lost her.
He was afraid that the darker side of him would grow bigger and bigger the longer he repressed it and one day, when he caught his reflection on accident, his eyes would be black.
